whydoesthiseven
Let me get stoned real quick

Let me get stoned real quick

*plays Stayin’ Alive in the background* I hydroplaned like 6 times just now guys

richwhitelesbian:

girls only want me for my wingspan and beautiful plumage

jadefef:

HAVE YOU EVER LIKED SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT JUST HEARING THEIR NAME OR SEEING A PICTURE OF THEM MAKES YOU SO HAPPY YOU HAVE TO SIT THERE A MOMENT BECAUSE YOU CANT STOP SMILING

I thought this said “licked” instead of “liked”

New bong yea

New bong yea

Have you ever walked past someone and thought, “he looks at dirty pictures.”

eggs are so nifty because you can devour an unborn child and almost everyone is okay with that

What if we had a mental condition that caused us to spontaneously break down. Like not in tears…like you pull out a drum set and just go for it.

chiefcharlieswan:

what is the boy falling out of

A vagina.

Death metal karaoke on the water

Watching the show COPS and realized….

There are two questions cops always ask…
1. When did you last smoke meth?
And…
2. Is this your wife? How many times did you hit her?

pat-dat-cat:

flyingawayinthetardis:

why is fat unattractive unless it is hanging off a chest?

This should have a lot more notes i fucking love this.

You know….I ask myself that a lot.

itsaterribleprivelage:

heroingranola:

   son

no
i must dance

itsaterribleprivelage:

heroingranola:

   son

no

i must dance

Aren’t hot pockets…large pizza rolls..

I just saved a bus from burning children